Never worked? The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

This article was published in the April 19, 2012, issue of The News-Sentinel
By Donna Volmerding
“(She) never worked a day in her life.” Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen about Ann Romney, wife of presumptive presidential nominee Mitt Romney This remark by Ms. Rosen has sparked a firestorm of controversy; it certainly touched a nerve with me. In the ‘70s, when I gave birth to my first child and became a stay-at-home mom, I discovered quickly how utterly exhausting a new baby is, and I developed a profound new respect for stay-at-home moms who worked very hard.
We breast-fed, gardened, sewed, cooked, cleaned, shopped, washed our own diapers (paper diapers were too expensive), scrimped and fell into bed each night in sheer exhaustion. Never worked?
The budget went in free fall, too. I remember vividly the time when my husband and I wanted to buy a cup of coffee at a fast-food restaurant, and we didn’t have enough money, even combining our change.
I envied women with nice clothes who took great vacations. I wore sweats and stained shirts; my big day out was packing peanut-butter sandwiches and taking the kids to the park. Never worked?
Many of my college-graduate “sisters” took a different path. Although many became mothers, too, several felt the cultural pressure of the times, as well as the economy, and headed to the office or the classroom.
The “working” moms I knew also worked very hard, and I respected their choice, and they respected mine. Yet, the siren song of the women’s movement, and its smug arrogance, was condescending and insulting. The left insinuated that (educated) women who stayed at home were wasting their talents, selling out the sisterhood by depending on a man to support them. It was often said that we “never worked.”
Besides, everyone knew that mothers’ minds turned to mush. How could they not? What kind of intellectual stimulation is it to wipe sticky faces and clean dirty bottoms?
When my children were in grade school, and I headed to the office, I was amazed when, on my first day, another woman brought coffee to me! I also realized that staying at home with small children was far more strenuous than my office job.
We stay-at-home moms endured the disdainful snobbery of NOW and others who respected no other path but their own. Our efforts, our concerns and our abilities were disparaged, often with high disgust. This was, and I think still is, the mindset of the left. This isn’t just a war against women; it’s a war against women who dare to go against their cultural dictates. Many on the left truly believe that stay-at-home moms and homemakers “never worked.”
This dispute will not end until all women (and men) understand and respect the contribution of mothers who work at home and outside of the home. Homemaker moms have as much insight into the economy, national security, good government and the culture wars as “working” moms. They have earned a place in the public forum to make their voices heard.
As the saying goes, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”